I don’t know what you
are going through and I can’t claim to understand my friend. I don’t know how
much you have suffered; I don’t feel what you are feeling; and I can’t evaluate
the intensity of all the punches you have received from life just because you
woke up to a new day. However, one thing I am too sure of is that you are alive
and for this reason, I know that whatever you are going through is time-bound
and in its time, it will pass. My friend it will pass.
The biggest mistake you
can make when responding to a painful situation is to think the situation is
peculiar to you – to believe its some sad fate designed just for you. Giving in
to that thought, is like giving up on the grace you enjoy as someone who the
Kings of Grace died for. Worst things have happened to you, to me and to the
engineer who coupled the device you are reading this article on. Pain is a
natural course of life; sorrow comes; joy comes – each has its time. Would you
give up just because sorrow is having its time?
My concern is that you
don’t give up so soon; that you don’t drop your weapons in a haste to run away
from pain. You have what it takes to have at least a fighting chance. You have
what it takes to turn your pain to gain. I wish that you would believe this
because I know it’s true. You don’t see it because you have dwelt so much on
all that has gone wrong in your life. What about the good things that have
happened to you?
Life! Life! Life! What
is life? Really think about that for a while. What is life but a period of
pains and gains; of downs and ups; of sorrow and joy? Each of these experience,
it’s a king overwhelming in power but not of control – only you can give them control
over you. You cannot change the nature of this game called life, but you can
determine how you want to respond to the fouls you were penalized for and the
goals you scored during the play.
Who ever told you life
is smooth has lied to you. The geometry of life has more of curves than
straights. When you woke up healthy this morning, somebody else arrived this
day with a condition so sad it is even too painful to think about. Every day is
a challenge; this is good for your mind and your body. A challenge, when faced
with austerity and conquered, is like a new strand of a bird’s feather, it can
only make you soar higher and last longer in the sky.
There are two ways to
look at the sad things that happen to you. You can either see them as a bunch
of bad fate that is packaged to make you fail or you can see them as a chain of
experience designed to make you stronger. What will it be for you? Do you want
these experiences to have both power and control over you? What makes you give
up without a good fight? How do you want to live your life? What hope is there
for you to let pain take charge of you?
Do you want to take
control of how you respond to the sad part of life? I am sure you do. Try the exercises
below
1.
Close the pathways of sadness in
your life
What are those things or
people that consistently make you sad? Pick up a pen and list them. List as
much as you can. Thereafter, group them into those you can cut off and those
you really can’t cut off.
Now for those you can
cut off, take proactive steps to let them go no matter what it will cost you.
Remember nothing is worth more than your happiness.
For those you can’t cut
off, start finding a way to reduce your dependence on them.
If it is about the lack
of money, find away to manage the little you have and to increase your income.
You can take up a part-time job or go into a trade no matter how small. What
skills or passion do you have that you can turn into a money maker?
If it is about friends,
start working becoming on independent from them for anything. If you are lonely,
make new acquaintances. Define your relationships with such people. Give them
just a space in your life.
If it is about some
mistakes in the past, start doing as much good as you can do. Help more people,
visit orphanages, advise less experienced people, talk to God to forgive your
past – talk to Him, he will answer. He is a merciful God.
2.
Leave your bed with as much energy
as you can muster
Talk to God each
morning. Thank Him genuinely for another new day. Tell Him what you want for
the day. Say some wonderful things to yourself as yourself. Shout out the
following after your prayers
i.
I am happy. God! I am just so happy
ii.
Wow! Today is going to be a great day!
iii.
I am wonderfully made! Oh my God! I am
so beautiful, so confident, so successful!
iv.
I have so much love around me
v.
Thank you Lord!
vi.
My God is right beside me!
3.
Determine to leave each person you
see that day a happier and better person
Go out and smile so
well to each person you meet. Let your love for people overwhelm you. Let love
rule you. Become genuinely interested in people. Play with as much people as
you can play with. Laugh as much as you can. Let your guard down. Give as much
as you can to people in need.
Refuse to be defensive.
When people hurt you, forgive them immediately and forget about the incidence.
Blame it on their ignorance. Pity people who knowingly hurt you, they are only victims
caught up in web of selfishness.
4.
Set out to achieve what you left
undone.
You can increase your
chances of happiness by simply doing something about that thing you have left
undone for a while. Set up to achieve little things. It could be a call to
someone that has offended you in the past. It could be fixing something in your
room, relationship, car or studies. It could be any other task you bailed out
on. Just do something to get a little forward!
In all, happiness and
sadness are states of the mind. Your mind is yours alone and you can decide
what gets into it or to you. To round up this piece, let me lend an ancient but
anonymous quote:
“I
don’t give up when I am walking through the shadows, because light is somewhere
around the corner”
May God engrave this
message in your heart and may He also empower you to put to practice what it
preaches.
To your success!
Larry
P.S
Here is a list of
positive emotions – I will strongly advise that you let those occupy you as
much as you can. I will also list the negative ones, I am sure you know what to
do with them
POSITIVE
EMOTIONS: Happiness, Love, Confidence, Gratitude, Positive
Thoughts, Empathy, and Faith.
